Where's Waldo?

I've always hated those books. Pages and pages of the impossible task of finding ONE person in overly-populated locations: the beach, the mall, the park. How the illustrator got the idea of stuffing 100 people into a restaurant is beyond me. But I hated them. Searching every gap and every open space for just a glimpse of a red-and-white striped sleeve. And when you do finally find him, it's almost an unfair game: "He's only showing half of his body! How was I supposed to find that?!" Or the feeling of defeat when you thought you saw him, but it was just a little girl in a ski lodge: "She has a red-and-white stripped scarf."

The more I thought about Waldo and his mind-games, the more I thought about the Single Gal's very own "Where's Waldo?" game playing in her life. Where is he? HIM. The One. Standing next to the hot dog stand? On the ferris wheel? Are we really required to turn pages and pages of locations, trying to find this one guy with horrible fashion sense and a ridiculous hat?

There are women out there who will stop at nothing to find their husband. They will date until the sun goes down...hoping that when they wake up, Mr. Right-Now will still be in bed. Sometimes they will marry the first bozo who comes along. Sure, most of the time it's true love, but some of the time it's truly pathetic. But I don't blame them. How else are we supposed to play the cards we've been dealt without any clues or any lifelines to use? We get one shot. One life where we spend most of the beginning of it trying to find a mate. Now, I'm thinking about March of the Penguins. But I've got to give those little guys some credit; ALL of them are black and white. Their Waldo could be any of them.

As a young woman of 24, who has been in the game/watched the game/thrown lampshades at the game, I feel like it's time for a Game Changer. It's time for someone to step up to the plate, or step into the arena, or step onto the court with different rules in her hands. What if finding Waldo isn't the top prize anymore? What if you do something else? Something that will lead Waldo to you? Something that will make Waldo leap out from behind the concrete statue, or from behind the water fountain, or run out of the cafe at the train station. Something bold, something brave, something, dare I say, very few, if any, women do: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. You. You. You. One single rule. Instead of pining over this lost man, you'll go swim in the ocean...maybe butt-naked because it's on your bucket list. Or ride that scary rollercoaster with your best friends. Or sit and have a picnic in the park with your niece. You'll let other "Where's Waldo?" players delve deeper in despair because he's is no where in sight. But you don't have to worry. You have your rule. The one rule in life's game that you're sure to win, because, hey, how can Waldo resist irresistible YOU?